Malam terakhir nak teraweh. Yelaa. Macam pergi teraweh tiap2 hari.
I admit I was super duper rajen mase awal2 pose, tapi bile dh nk ke tengah2 tuh, anda semua paham2 je lah.
Kepade whoever outside there yg perangai die same macam sy, harp2 next time, tak buat lagi. HUAHUA.
I'm serious okehh.
I went for the last2 teraweh. As usual, I was alone, again. Ade yg cuti, ade yg malas. Lantaklah.
You know, I just loved seeing many cars parked outside the masjid. Rase mcm meriah. I just loved to see ramai org dlm masjid bile sampai. I just loved the way kite berhimpit2 time tgh solat.
Ade tuh, kepale aku kene himpit dgn pungkok sorang mak cik nih. Siot betol. And I heard someone was giggling, and I thought she meant me. Sigh.
Ohhh..ohh..I met Aimi. Warghhhh. Its been a long time since I decided to enter ktj. Warghhh. So happy.
Kecoh!. I know right? Heeeee.
Tapi, xsempat nk sembang. Aimi balek awal. Huwaaaa. Merajok!
I just loved the sound of bam bam bomm bunyi mercun despite betape dangerousnyer mercun, despite berape kes dh masok paper pasal main mercun.
Dear scientists sekelian, please invent mercun yg xberbahaye langsung.
You know, for the past few days, I was thinking nak pergi MU ke x?
Sometimes, I dont feel like I want to. Just nak stay sini.
My sisters ade. Sume ade. My friends ade. Ahhh. Mcm mane nihh? Mcm mane nihh?
Just pray.
Please ALLAH. Tunjukkan yg terbaik untok hambamu ini.
Cekalkan hati yg tidak tabah ini.
Berikan ketenteraman.
Sunday, 28 August 2011
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Lady gaga
Aku penat.
Penat denag segala bagai ragam manusia. Sometimes, I never understood humans walaopn aku sendri adalah seorang manusia. Sometimes, I never understood even with myself.
Yesterday was so dramatic. Emosial.
And yes, it was all about that damn uia. I sent my application according to what it was stated on their website. I sent on the very last day of the dateline. Alhamdulillah. But, again huh! Last minute.
So, woopedoo it went. However, I received a letter from the alty mighty uia, saying that
'oh well putri. I'm happily to inform you that your application is incomplte '. Oke. It wasnt phrased like that. Apekah ?
Highlight the word INCOMPLETE. Theres a huge difference between incomplete and disqualified.
Kalau incomplete, maknenyer my application has not been disqualified, belom lagi di- REJECTED.
As to clarify my theory, I sent an e-mail that lady gaga. And, she said ' YES'. Yes, in terms of, yes! Your theory was correct.
Thank God! One of her brain functions seemed to work well.
Not funny Putri.
So, I waited for my result to come out, which was on the 11th Aug. I asked for KTJ to scan a copy to me.
I know UIA was still waiting, so tak nak buang mase sangat. And, they did send me.
Again, I think it was ujian Allah. UIA did not accept the provisional one. What the fish man.
I wrote an appeal letter to UIA. Sent tru pos laju. Hahh. Ambek ko!. Nah. Just to show how keen I was.
Bullshit.
That lady gaga sent me an email :
Oh sure. We received your parcel and letter. However, we hope you understand that UIA does not accept provisional, bla, bla, bla.
Weh, UIA! Name je international. Habes tuh, kenape tak ikut kalendar international? Private U lain pon ikot kalendar international. Buat closing date sebelom result kuar.
Argh. Malas nak layan. Minus infinity marks. BOO!
So, I was like.. ktj! ktj! help me!
Thank God. CIE certs keluar cepat. I went and rushed ke kolej just to get that cert even though dieorg cakap akn post. Lambat! Lambat!
I scan and sent to lady gaga.
Korang tao tak ape die reply ?
MAAF. APPLICATION ANDA IS NOT APPLICABLE TO SEPTEMBER INTAKE. i PROCEED IT TO FEBRUARY INTAKE.
You know what lady gaga? Just resign.
Hari tuh cakap lain, hari nih cakap lain.
Malas aku nak appeal kat die. Sekejap2 cakap lain. Sekali, aku cop die tak waras baru tao.
Arghhh. Die langsung tak rujuk pade orang atasan. Die just buat keputusan based on the rules.
Bukan aku nak cakap, break the rules. Tapi, bagi kelonggaran la beb.
I know la you want to keep your job. Tapi, jangan la take it easy. Nak kerja siap, tak nak kusutkan kepala, you just ' NO. NO. NO. and NO. '
Sekali aku serbu UIA, terus jumpe director die, terus cerita sampai A ke Z, jangan lak ko salahkn aku beb kalao kene tendang keluar.
Bukan aku nak cakap bongkak, tapi dah terang2, ko hanya pentingkan diri sendiri.
If you were to put yourself in my shoes, I bet you would feel the same mangkuk!
Kalao semua orang dalam UIA macam ko, tak hingin aku pergi ke UIA. Kalao setakat clerk whatever it is, jangan lak ko pikir, oh yeahh.. i will make the decision. Tutup kes!.
Shit yawww.
Itu pon naseb baek bapak aku tak sebot pon pasal name ko tao tak?
Kalao tak, berdebat lah ko dengan bos ko.
I made a huge mistake dealing this kind of matter with you.
I have learned a lot. A lot about this life. A lot abaout humans yang pentingkan diri sendiri.
I pray.
Thank you lady gaga.
Penat denag segala bagai ragam manusia. Sometimes, I never understood humans walaopn aku sendri adalah seorang manusia. Sometimes, I never understood even with myself.
Yesterday was so dramatic. Emosial.
And yes, it was all about that damn uia. I sent my application according to what it was stated on their website. I sent on the very last day of the dateline. Alhamdulillah. But, again huh! Last minute.
So, woopedoo it went. However, I received a letter from the alty mighty uia, saying that
'oh well putri. I'm happily to inform you that your application is incomplte '. Oke. It wasnt phrased like that. Apekah ?
Highlight the word INCOMPLETE. Theres a huge difference between incomplete and disqualified.
Kalau incomplete, maknenyer my application has not been disqualified, belom lagi di- REJECTED.
As to clarify my theory, I sent an e-mail that lady gaga. And, she said ' YES'. Yes, in terms of, yes! Your theory was correct.
Thank God! One of her brain functions seemed to work well.
Not funny Putri.
So, I waited for my result to come out, which was on the 11th Aug. I asked for KTJ to scan a copy to me.
I know UIA was still waiting, so tak nak buang mase sangat. And, they did send me.
Again, I think it was ujian Allah. UIA did not accept the provisional one. What the fish man.
I wrote an appeal letter to UIA. Sent tru pos laju. Hahh. Ambek ko!. Nah. Just to show how keen I was.
Bullshit.
That lady gaga sent me an email :
Oh sure. We received your parcel and letter. However, we hope you understand that UIA does not accept provisional, bla, bla, bla.
Weh, UIA! Name je international. Habes tuh, kenape tak ikut kalendar international? Private U lain pon ikot kalendar international. Buat closing date sebelom result kuar.
Argh. Malas nak layan. Minus infinity marks. BOO!
So, I was like.. ktj! ktj! help me!
Thank God. CIE certs keluar cepat. I went and rushed ke kolej just to get that cert even though dieorg cakap akn post. Lambat! Lambat!
I scan and sent to lady gaga.
Korang tao tak ape die reply ?
MAAF. APPLICATION ANDA IS NOT APPLICABLE TO SEPTEMBER INTAKE. i PROCEED IT TO FEBRUARY INTAKE.
You know what lady gaga? Just resign.
Hari tuh cakap lain, hari nih cakap lain.
Malas aku nak appeal kat die. Sekejap2 cakap lain. Sekali, aku cop die tak waras baru tao.
Arghhh. Die langsung tak rujuk pade orang atasan. Die just buat keputusan based on the rules.
Bukan aku nak cakap, break the rules. Tapi, bagi kelonggaran la beb.
I know la you want to keep your job. Tapi, jangan la take it easy. Nak kerja siap, tak nak kusutkan kepala, you just ' NO. NO. NO. and NO. '
Sekali aku serbu UIA, terus jumpe director die, terus cerita sampai A ke Z, jangan lak ko salahkn aku beb kalao kene tendang keluar.
Bukan aku nak cakap bongkak, tapi dah terang2, ko hanya pentingkan diri sendiri.
If you were to put yourself in my shoes, I bet you would feel the same mangkuk!
Kalao semua orang dalam UIA macam ko, tak hingin aku pergi ke UIA. Kalao setakat clerk whatever it is, jangan lak ko pikir, oh yeahh.. i will make the decision. Tutup kes!.
Shit yawww.
Itu pon naseb baek bapak aku tak sebot pon pasal name ko tao tak?
Kalao tak, berdebat lah ko dengan bos ko.
I made a huge mistake dealing this kind of matter with you.
I have learned a lot. A lot about this life. A lot abaout humans yang pentingkan diri sendiri.
I pray.
Thank you lady gaga.
Monday, 22 August 2011
Waiting.
OH MY GOD !
UIA! Kenape dan kenape dan mengape dan mengape belom reply my application ?
What took you so long ? Arg. Bukannye aku suruh korang bina kapal terbang ke hape ?
Dulu nak sangat actual result kan, tak nak provi konon
Demanding lebeh oi, tp langsung tak effective. Cis.
Reply laa..reply laaa. Please, please, please.
I suddenly recalled what my mother said.
Well, it was about tak boleh tidor lepas suboh dan lepas asar. Kalau lepas asar, nanti jadi gila. Memang pon. I went tru it. Tapi, nak cakap gila tak de lar but I think its just the way Islam has phrased it to discourage us not to sleep after Asar. Its just kalao korang tidor lepas Asar, lepas bangun, korang akan rase something wrong. Rase mcm nak marah2, ade je yg tak kene. Tak percaye, try la. Haha.
Ermm. about suboh pulak, nanti rezeki mahal. I didnt believe it on the first place. Tapi, i think I have started to believe. The major mojo problem is aku nih je nis liat nak bangun. Yealah. Almaklumlah cuti sekolah. Tidor lewat then bangun pon lewat. Its just a habit. So, I was wondering how to change this habit?. Habit is somthing that you do repetitively and sudah terbiase buat. In other words, sudah sebati dengan diri kita. Sigh .
I still need that freaking uia to reply my damn email.
Oke putri. Please be patient.
Fuh. Sabar. Sabar. Sabar.
UIA! Kenape dan kenape dan mengape dan mengape belom reply my application ?
What took you so long ? Arg. Bukannye aku suruh korang bina kapal terbang ke hape ?
Dulu nak sangat actual result kan, tak nak provi konon
Demanding lebeh oi, tp langsung tak effective. Cis.
Reply laa..reply laaa. Please, please, please.
I suddenly recalled what my mother said.
Well, it was about tak boleh tidor lepas suboh dan lepas asar. Kalau lepas asar, nanti jadi gila. Memang pon. I went tru it. Tapi, nak cakap gila tak de lar but I think its just the way Islam has phrased it to discourage us not to sleep after Asar. Its just kalao korang tidor lepas Asar, lepas bangun, korang akan rase something wrong. Rase mcm nak marah2, ade je yg tak kene. Tak percaye, try la. Haha.
Ermm. about suboh pulak, nanti rezeki mahal. I didnt believe it on the first place. Tapi, i think I have started to believe. The major mojo problem is aku nih je nis liat nak bangun. Yealah. Almaklumlah cuti sekolah. Tidor lewat then bangun pon lewat. Its just a habit. So, I was wondering how to change this habit?. Habit is somthing that you do repetitively and sudah terbiase buat. In other words, sudah sebati dengan diri kita. Sigh .
I still need that freaking uia to reply my damn email.
Oke putri. Please be patient.
Fuh. Sabar. Sabar. Sabar.
Manusia banyak ragam.
I always thought why people act like this, act like that .
Well, what happened was I saw one of my friends posted on her facebook ' penatlah hidup ni '
So, as a friend, I motivated her, I commented ' banyak bersabar '
Everybody knows life is tough, life is hard, life is not a fairytale, life bla bla bla and so on.
Semue org ade kisah hidup die tersendiri tp secare kebetulan some of you mungkin ade kisah lebeh kurang same.
Her post made me think tho .
So, I was thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking sampai nak pecah kepale hotak.
Akhirnye, I came out with a conclusion. Just live with the life as it is. Tak yah nak complain2. Klo nk complaim pon, get a diary and complainlah sebanyak mane pon .
If you decided to complain even to a closed friend, I bet die pon dh naek annoying dgn non-stop complaining korang .
If you asked me what would you say bout ur life, then gimme a pen and I bet you, I can write loads and loads of negative things.
Tapi, to muhasabah diri, to teach ourselves to bersyukur, kite spttnye fikir psl org yg lagi lagi lagi susah.
Thats the only way untok sedarkn diri ini. Dengan kate laen, express insaf .
Woohoo !
I was thinking to buy something special to my friend, actually friends. Something yg laen dr yg laen.
Bukan yg expensive ones tapi yg mmg laen. I'm still thinking tho.
Nak keluar, tapi I dont prefer to go out with my dad.
May be sudah suratan. Girls go shopping with girls. Kan ? Kan ?
Guys?..You go out playing with some other toys. - __ -'
I'd never been closed with guys. Even with my dad, even with my brothers. Never.
I dont know why. Mungkin I'm a girl. HAHA. Alasan tak munasabh langsung!
Dear girls and boys,
just shut up.
Well, what happened was I saw one of my friends posted on her facebook ' penatlah hidup ni '
So, as a friend, I motivated her, I commented ' banyak bersabar '
Everybody knows life is tough, life is hard, life is not a fairytale, life bla bla bla and so on.
Semue org ade kisah hidup die tersendiri tp secare kebetulan some of you mungkin ade kisah lebeh kurang same.
Her post made me think tho .
So, I was thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking sampai nak pecah kepale hotak.
Akhirnye, I came out with a conclusion. Just live with the life as it is. Tak yah nak complain2. Klo nk complaim pon, get a diary and complainlah sebanyak mane pon .
If you decided to complain even to a closed friend, I bet die pon dh naek annoying dgn non-stop complaining korang .
If you asked me what would you say bout ur life, then gimme a pen and I bet you, I can write loads and loads of negative things.
Tapi, to muhasabah diri, to teach ourselves to bersyukur, kite spttnye fikir psl org yg lagi lagi lagi susah.
Thats the only way untok sedarkn diri ini. Dengan kate laen, express insaf .
Woohoo !
I was thinking to buy something special to my friend, actually friends. Something yg laen dr yg laen.
Bukan yg expensive ones tapi yg mmg laen. I'm still thinking tho.
Nak keluar, tapi I dont prefer to go out with my dad.
May be sudah suratan. Girls go shopping with girls. Kan ? Kan ?
Guys?..You go out playing with some other toys. - __ -'
I'd never been closed with guys. Even with my dad, even with my brothers. Never.
I dont know why. Mungkin I'm a girl. HAHA. Alasan tak munasabh langsung!
Dear girls and boys,
just shut up.
Sunday, 21 August 2011
Black and white
I was and still am hoping for a miracle to happen.
Well, I wouldn't call it a miracle , may be takdir .
As I'm writing this, I'm waiting for the super annot=ying uia to respond to my e-mail.
God! I don't know where to start. I was so complicated and not to forget, menguji keabaran dlm buln Ramadhan ini.
I hv been accepted to MU. I was happy but at the same time, I felt nothing when I went to check kat UCAS.
I know where I stand. Oversea means money and money means $$$. Kaching, kaching.
Dad,
Don't you remember sape yang beriya-iya suroh ti apply ?
Don't ke didn't hah? Argh. Lantaklah.
Spe yang beriya-iya ' eh kak teh. Apply Bsc. Jgn apply BMA. pak cik kamizan kate itu, kate ini '
And ape yg terjadik skrg nih ? You just stand aside and lemme , alone by myself, sort all this mess out ?
I have got accepted and skrg nih, I'm trying to find scholars. I have been tho. But, nasib tak menyebelahi. I failed !. I tried to find loans, and I failed.
YOU ? You just pekak kn telinga, butekan mate .
I feel shitty tao tak ?
' OH kak teh. Kak teh apply U mane ? Kenape kak teh xapply Bath or something else? Those are universrsities yg top ranking dlm accountancy '
Well, bullshit then. Cakap je tak gune. Cakap itu, ini.. tapi satu habuk pon tak blh pakai.
Busy with the house, I dont know why is this damn house is much more important then my study.
Oh, yeah. I'm old enough heh to solve that out?
Just stop it.
Everybody was asking ' oh putri. so, you re going to manchester heh ?'
'Well, no '
'Why ?'
'My dad has no money '
How embarassing was that !
What were you thinking why I applied for UK?. Tell me.
What the hell were you thinking that I stayed until 2 o'clock to get good result ?
OKEH FINE. MANCHESTER!..YOU JUST WASTED YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGY TO PROCESS MY APPLICATION.
YOU JUST WASTED YOUR MONEY TO POST ALL THOSE LETTERS.
I feel
frustrated.
Just shut up and don't talk to me.
Just shut up uia .
Just shut up.
Well, I wouldn't call it a miracle , may be takdir .
As I'm writing this, I'm waiting for the super annot=ying uia to respond to my e-mail.
God! I don't know where to start. I was so complicated and not to forget, menguji keabaran dlm buln Ramadhan ini.
I hv been accepted to MU. I was happy but at the same time, I felt nothing when I went to check kat UCAS.
I know where I stand. Oversea means money and money means $$$. Kaching, kaching.
Dad,
Don't you remember sape yang beriya-iya suroh ti apply ?
Don't ke didn't hah? Argh. Lantaklah.
Spe yang beriya-iya ' eh kak teh. Apply Bsc. Jgn apply BMA. pak cik kamizan kate itu, kate ini '
And ape yg terjadik skrg nih ? You just stand aside and lemme , alone by myself, sort all this mess out ?
I have got accepted and skrg nih, I'm trying to find scholars. I have been tho. But, nasib tak menyebelahi. I failed !. I tried to find loans, and I failed.
YOU ? You just pekak kn telinga, butekan mate .
I feel shitty tao tak ?
' OH kak teh. Kak teh apply U mane ? Kenape kak teh xapply Bath or something else? Those are universrsities yg top ranking dlm accountancy '
Well, bullshit then. Cakap je tak gune. Cakap itu, ini.. tapi satu habuk pon tak blh pakai.
Busy with the house, I dont know why is this damn house is much more important then my study.
Oh, yeah. I'm old enough heh to solve that out?
Just stop it.
Everybody was asking ' oh putri. so, you re going to manchester heh ?'
'Well, no '
'Why ?'
'My dad has no money '
How embarassing was that !
What were you thinking why I applied for UK?. Tell me.
What the hell were you thinking that I stayed until 2 o'clock to get good result ?
OKEH FINE. MANCHESTER!..YOU JUST WASTED YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGY TO PROCESS MY APPLICATION.
YOU JUST WASTED YOUR MONEY TO POST ALL THOSE LETTERS.
I feel
frustrated.
Just shut up and don't talk to me.
Just shut up uia .
Just shut up.
Monday, 25 July 2011
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
doom
i have told my concerns, my worries, my problems, my complicated life to ain
but, still, masih xdapat nk hilang segala bagai kepeningan, keresahan, kecuakan dan anak pinak die
aku rase down sangat, aku rase risao sgt. tapi, pepasal aku tak nanges? pelik. no. tak pelik pon
aku nih bukan ade perasaan sgt kat org lain ke kat diri sendiri
i'm just heartless. alaaa. org lain pon mcm tuh gak esp stupid boys kan ?
shit boys .
aku rase peluang aku semakin narrow dan narrow
aku nak cari jalan keluar, tapi smpai skrg aku tak jumpe
bnyk kah dose aku? terlalu banyakkah kebencian dlm diri ku?
ego kah aku ?
ade rezeki tuh, ade lar
tapi, korang kene tahu termasuk aku, REZEKI TAK DATANG BERGOLEK!
kene usaha.. aku dh usaha, tapi aku takot usaha aku tak cukop
mcm yg terjadik dlm exam..aku nak menanges setiap kali pikir pasal result exam aku yg bakal keluar tak lame lagi
aku tak sanggup weh dpt result terok..AKU TAK SANGGUP
TO BE CONTINUED
but, still, masih xdapat nk hilang segala bagai kepeningan, keresahan, kecuakan dan anak pinak die
aku rase down sangat, aku rase risao sgt. tapi, pepasal aku tak nanges? pelik. no. tak pelik pon
aku nih bukan ade perasaan sgt kat org lain ke kat diri sendiri
i'm just heartless. alaaa. org lain pon mcm tuh gak esp stupid boys kan ?
shit boys .
aku rase peluang aku semakin narrow dan narrow
aku nak cari jalan keluar, tapi smpai skrg aku tak jumpe
bnyk kah dose aku? terlalu banyakkah kebencian dlm diri ku?
ego kah aku ?
ade rezeki tuh, ade lar
tapi, korang kene tahu termasuk aku, REZEKI TAK DATANG BERGOLEK!
kene usaha.. aku dh usaha, tapi aku takot usaha aku tak cukop
mcm yg terjadik dlm exam..aku nak menanges setiap kali pikir pasal result exam aku yg bakal keluar tak lame lagi
aku tak sanggup weh dpt result terok..AKU TAK SANGGUP
TO BE CONTINUED
Sunday, 10 July 2011
don't marry me
no one knows this blog exists . which is a good thing tho .
marriage is a sunnah right ? . yerp .
but, if i do not believe in marriage, is it a wrong thing to do that ?
i do not want to marry because it is a must to do so. i want to marry because i have found someone to marry to.
have i found that someone ? norp .
i'm not even searching for one .
i hate being controlled . i truly hate it .
everything that i do is driven by the force ' I WANT ' not I'M FORCED TO DO .
i hate being yelled at. dude, cant you just speak properly?!
do i need to marry? do i?
marriage is a sunnah right ? . yerp .
but, if i do not believe in marriage, is it a wrong thing to do that ?
i do not want to marry because it is a must to do so. i want to marry because i have found someone to marry to.
have i found that someone ? norp .
i'm not even searching for one .
i hate being controlled . i truly hate it .
everything that i do is driven by the force ' I WANT ' not I'M FORCED TO DO .
i hate being yelled at. dude, cant you just speak properly?!
do i need to marry? do i?
Friday, 8 July 2011
it's raining
is it wrong for me not to believe in what-so-called-the-love-shit?
is it wrong ?
is it wrong for me to call all of the boys SHIT ?
is it wrong ?
i have not yet learned how to love the sang Pencipta who created me, do i have the right to love anyone else before HIM ?
n o . i'm still searching for HIS love.
why would i desperately want to find my mr right's love ?
why are people so desperate to be in relationship huh ? is it a must then ? is it something to show off to ur friends ? is it because you feel lonely ?
i admit.
i do feel jealous people who are already coupled. but, not the very much jealous. slightly.
but, i have friends. i have my family. more importantly, the HIM.
percayalah. as long as you have all this love, you wouldnt think much of this kind of shitty crappy love.
i'm not totally against love, but when i see desperation towards love, i become WTH?
i do respect others' perspective.
i wouldnt go and tell orang yang berkapel to break off. i'm not that mad. perghhh.
its just there are so so so many things to think about apart from love love and love.
tuhan dah ciptakan seorang perempuan untuk seorang lelaki :)
your time will soon come. just doa. :)
its ok to be single what.
my firends used to ask ' ko macam mne?'
with a :), i answered ' just fine '
plus, i have studies. belom kerja lagi. so, no need la. i'm not matured enough. there's more to learn. so, i think, I AM NOT PREPARED .
much more comfortable being this way. tak yah nak pening2 kepala. teehee :)
is it wrong ?
is it wrong for me to call all of the boys SHIT ?
is it wrong ?
i have not yet learned how to love the sang Pencipta who created me, do i have the right to love anyone else before HIM ?
n o . i'm still searching for HIS love.
why would i desperately want to find my mr right's love ?
why are people so desperate to be in relationship huh ? is it a must then ? is it something to show off to ur friends ? is it because you feel lonely ?
i admit.
i do feel jealous people who are already coupled. but, not the very much jealous. slightly.
but, i have friends. i have my family. more importantly, the HIM.
percayalah. as long as you have all this love, you wouldnt think much of this kind of shitty crappy love.
i'm not totally against love, but when i see desperation towards love, i become WTH?
i do respect others' perspective.
i wouldnt go and tell orang yang berkapel to break off. i'm not that mad. perghhh.
its just there are so so so many things to think about apart from love love and love.
tuhan dah ciptakan seorang perempuan untuk seorang lelaki :)
your time will soon come. just doa. :)
its ok to be single what.
my firends used to ask ' ko macam mne?'
with a :), i answered ' just fine '
plus, i have studies. belom kerja lagi. so, no need la. i'm not matured enough. there's more to learn. so, i think, I AM NOT PREPARED .
much more comfortable being this way. tak yah nak pening2 kepala. teehee :)
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
in and out
i had a blog, then i deleted it. i dont know why, but its just i wanted to do that. am i regretting it? kind of, but not too seriously. so, i made a new one where no one knows this blog exists. i can write what i want (yet knowing the limitation, the precaution that should be borne in mind. a lot of things terjadi. yg buruk mahupon yg baik. life!. it was born like that.
here is one.
my dad decided to take cuti tanpa gaji hingga akhir tahon nih. my mother told me the whatsoever-breaking-news. speechless!. i was like 'hahhhhhh? betol ke?'. the first question that popped into my mind is WHY?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT AYAH?. have you gone nuts? has somebody electronized you? was it because you got tired and sick of working, and you want to take a break? my mother was ans still is against his decision. me? partially. well, mostly lah. right now, to rely on scholarships, i think the chances are way too far, dude. with my not-so-awesome result, i think pihak scholars just tutop mate saje when they see my applications. and i only applied for maybank and hsbc. plus, hsbc is not for abroad, only restricted to locally.
i know. I AM DOOMED. plus, with all the brothers, sisters, nannys, atoks, pak ciks, makciks, isteri, haiyaaa, money flows out like a river. everything needs money. money there. money here. i know how my sister used to say to me 'not everything is money', but like it or not, i have to admit, MOST of the things are kachingg!. my mom said 'bukan senang nak dapat kerja seelok ayah. ayah dah kerja for how many years i couldnt recall, till got the safe and secured position with satissfied salary. orang lain berlumbe-lumbe nak dapat kerja seelok tuh, and you, dad, are planning to let it go? and the six of us are still bawah tanggungan. plus, kos sara yang makin lambung melambung, monye seems to get valueless and more valueless. how much a RM100 can buy you?. not much.
how i prayed and still praying so hard to get the scholar, to be able to fly to UK. i know i can go far with studying abroad. HE listens, i know.
ain sudah balek! great news. she does not changed, even a minor bit. not like other people. did i change? maybe yeah. i'm a person with mind-changing. heee :D. we did meet at the playground, and talked for a bit. about whats going on. sharing stories. looking back made me think how fast time passed by, how fast we have grown up. i will be leaving for university life. must be more matured. ehemehem.
a friend of mine told me once. tuhan dah tetapkan rezeki masing-masing. ada certain orang, rezeki die lebih cepat dapat, ada certain orang, rezeki die lambat. rezeki lambat is just a test, ujian untok kesabaran. i do have to admit. sometimes, i lost my patience. i started blaming all sorts of thing. i started questioning myself plus the others. sounds weird, i feel weird too. heee :D. anyways, ingatlah tuhan is always and always listening to your prayers. DIA MAHA MENDENGAR. sometimes, ambik mase yang panjang for ALLAH to grant all your prayers. but, sometimes, sekjap sahaja. well folks. again, ujian.
life is not always macam kite expected it to be. if its not, then macam heaven lah life ni. wawawawa
oke. i want to blahh. chow
here is one.
my dad decided to take cuti tanpa gaji hingga akhir tahon nih. my mother told me the whatsoever-breaking-news. speechless!. i was like 'hahhhhhh? betol ke?'. the first question that popped into my mind is WHY?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT AYAH?. have you gone nuts? has somebody electronized you? was it because you got tired and sick of working, and you want to take a break? my mother was ans still is against his decision. me? partially. well, mostly lah. right now, to rely on scholarships, i think the chances are way too far, dude. with my not-so-awesome result, i think pihak scholars just tutop mate saje when they see my applications. and i only applied for maybank and hsbc. plus, hsbc is not for abroad, only restricted to locally.
i know. I AM DOOMED. plus, with all the brothers, sisters, nannys, atoks, pak ciks, makciks, isteri, haiyaaa, money flows out like a river. everything needs money. money there. money here. i know how my sister used to say to me 'not everything is money', but like it or not, i have to admit, MOST of the things are kachingg!. my mom said 'bukan senang nak dapat kerja seelok ayah. ayah dah kerja for how many years i couldnt recall, till got the safe and secured position with satissfied salary. orang lain berlumbe-lumbe nak dapat kerja seelok tuh, and you, dad, are planning to let it go? and the six of us are still bawah tanggungan. plus, kos sara yang makin lambung melambung, monye seems to get valueless and more valueless. how much a RM100 can buy you?. not much.
how i prayed and still praying so hard to get the scholar, to be able to fly to UK. i know i can go far with studying abroad. HE listens, i know.
ain sudah balek! great news. she does not changed, even a minor bit. not like other people. did i change? maybe yeah. i'm a person with mind-changing. heee :D. we did meet at the playground, and talked for a bit. about whats going on. sharing stories. looking back made me think how fast time passed by, how fast we have grown up. i will be leaving for university life. must be more matured. ehemehem.
a friend of mine told me once. tuhan dah tetapkan rezeki masing-masing. ada certain orang, rezeki die lebih cepat dapat, ada certain orang, rezeki die lambat. rezeki lambat is just a test, ujian untok kesabaran. i do have to admit. sometimes, i lost my patience. i started blaming all sorts of thing. i started questioning myself plus the others. sounds weird, i feel weird too. heee :D. anyways, ingatlah tuhan is always and always listening to your prayers. DIA MAHA MENDENGAR. sometimes, ambik mase yang panjang for ALLAH to grant all your prayers. but, sometimes, sekjap sahaja. well folks. again, ujian.
life is not always macam kite expected it to be. if its not, then macam heaven lah life ni. wawawawa
oke. i want to blahh. chow
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