Black and white

I was and still am hoping for a miracle to happen.
Well, I wouldn't call it a miracle , may be takdir .
As I'm writing this, I'm waiting for the super annot=ying uia to respond to my e-mail.
God! I don't know where to start. I was so complicated and not to forget, menguji keabaran dlm buln Ramadhan ini.
I hv been accepted to MU. I was happy but at the same time, I felt nothing when I went to check kat UCAS.
I know where I stand. Oversea means money and money means $$$. Kaching, kaching.

Dad,
Don't you remember sape yang beriya-iya suroh ti apply ?
Don't ke didn't hah? Argh. Lantaklah.
Spe yang beriya-iya ' eh kak teh. Apply Bsc. Jgn apply BMA. pak cik kamizan kate itu, kate ini '
And ape yg terjadik skrg nih ? You just stand aside and lemme , alone by myself, sort all this mess out ?
I have got accepted and skrg nih, I'm trying to find scholars. I have been tho. But, nasib tak menyebelahi. I failed !. I tried to find loans, and I failed.
YOU ? You just pekak kn telinga, butekan mate .
I feel shitty tao tak ?
' OH kak teh. Kak teh apply U mane ? Kenape kak teh xapply Bath or something else? Those are universrsities yg top ranking dlm accountancy '
Well, bullshit then. Cakap je tak gune. Cakap itu, ini.. tapi satu habuk pon tak blh pakai.
Busy with the house, I dont know why is this damn house is much more important then my study.
Oh, yeah. I'm old enough heh to solve that out?
Just stop it.
Everybody was asking ' oh putri. so, you re going to manchester heh ?'
'Well, no '
'Why ?'
'My dad has no money '
How embarassing was that !
What were you thinking why I applied for UK?. Tell me.
What the hell were you thinking that I stayed until 2 o'clock to get good result ?
OKEH FINE. MANCHESTER!..YOU JUST WASTED YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGY TO PROCESS MY APPLICATION.
YOU JUST WASTED YOUR MONEY TO POST ALL THOSE LETTERS.

I feel
frustrated.

Just shut up and don't talk to me.

Just shut up uia .

Just shut up.