Malam terakhir nak teraweh. Yelaa. Macam pergi teraweh tiap2 hari.
I admit I was super duper rajen mase awal2 pose, tapi bile dh nk ke tengah2 tuh, anda semua paham2 je lah.
Kepade whoever outside there yg perangai die same macam sy, harp2 next time, tak buat lagi. HUAHUA.
I'm serious okehh.
I went for the last2 teraweh. As usual, I was alone, again. Ade yg cuti, ade yg malas. Lantaklah.
You know, I just loved seeing many cars parked outside the masjid. Rase mcm meriah. I just loved to see ramai org dlm masjid bile sampai. I just loved the way kite berhimpit2 time tgh solat.
Ade tuh, kepale aku kene himpit dgn pungkok sorang mak cik nih. Siot betol. And I heard someone was giggling, and I thought she meant me. Sigh.
Ohhh..ohh..I met Aimi. Warghhhh. Its been a long time since I decided to enter ktj. Warghhh. So happy.
Kecoh!. I know right? Heeeee.
Tapi, xsempat nk sembang. Aimi balek awal. Huwaaaa. Merajok!
I just loved the sound of bam bam bomm bunyi mercun despite betape dangerousnyer mercun, despite berape kes dh masok paper pasal main mercun.
Dear scientists sekelian, please invent mercun yg xberbahaye langsung.
You know, for the past few days, I was thinking nak pergi MU ke x?
Sometimes, I dont feel like I want to. Just nak stay sini.
My sisters ade. Sume ade. My friends ade. Ahhh. Mcm mane nihh? Mcm mane nihh?
Just pray.
Please ALLAH. Tunjukkan yg terbaik untok hambamu ini.
Cekalkan hati yg tidak tabah ini.
Berikan ketenteraman.
Sunday 28 August 2011
Tuesday 23 August 2011
Lady gaga
Aku penat.
Penat denag segala bagai ragam manusia. Sometimes, I never understood humans walaopn aku sendri adalah seorang manusia. Sometimes, I never understood even with myself.
Yesterday was so dramatic. Emosial.
And yes, it was all about that damn uia. I sent my application according to what it was stated on their website. I sent on the very last day of the dateline. Alhamdulillah. But, again huh! Last minute.
So, woopedoo it went. However, I received a letter from the alty mighty uia, saying that
'oh well putri. I'm happily to inform you that your application is incomplte '. Oke. It wasnt phrased like that. Apekah ?
Highlight the word INCOMPLETE. Theres a huge difference between incomplete and disqualified.
Kalau incomplete, maknenyer my application has not been disqualified, belom lagi di- REJECTED.
As to clarify my theory, I sent an e-mail that lady gaga. And, she said ' YES'. Yes, in terms of, yes! Your theory was correct.
Thank God! One of her brain functions seemed to work well.
Not funny Putri.
So, I waited for my result to come out, which was on the 11th Aug. I asked for KTJ to scan a copy to me.
I know UIA was still waiting, so tak nak buang mase sangat. And, they did send me.
Again, I think it was ujian Allah. UIA did not accept the provisional one. What the fish man.
I wrote an appeal letter to UIA. Sent tru pos laju. Hahh. Ambek ko!. Nah. Just to show how keen I was.
Bullshit.
That lady gaga sent me an email :
Oh sure. We received your parcel and letter. However, we hope you understand that UIA does not accept provisional, bla, bla, bla.
Weh, UIA! Name je international. Habes tuh, kenape tak ikut kalendar international? Private U lain pon ikot kalendar international. Buat closing date sebelom result kuar.
Argh. Malas nak layan. Minus infinity marks. BOO!
So, I was like.. ktj! ktj! help me!
Thank God. CIE certs keluar cepat. I went and rushed ke kolej just to get that cert even though dieorg cakap akn post. Lambat! Lambat!
I scan and sent to lady gaga.
Korang tao tak ape die reply ?
MAAF. APPLICATION ANDA IS NOT APPLICABLE TO SEPTEMBER INTAKE. i PROCEED IT TO FEBRUARY INTAKE.
You know what lady gaga? Just resign.
Hari tuh cakap lain, hari nih cakap lain.
Malas aku nak appeal kat die. Sekejap2 cakap lain. Sekali, aku cop die tak waras baru tao.
Arghhh. Die langsung tak rujuk pade orang atasan. Die just buat keputusan based on the rules.
Bukan aku nak cakap, break the rules. Tapi, bagi kelonggaran la beb.
I know la you want to keep your job. Tapi, jangan la take it easy. Nak kerja siap, tak nak kusutkan kepala, you just ' NO. NO. NO. and NO. '
Sekali aku serbu UIA, terus jumpe director die, terus cerita sampai A ke Z, jangan lak ko salahkn aku beb kalao kene tendang keluar.
Bukan aku nak cakap bongkak, tapi dah terang2, ko hanya pentingkan diri sendiri.
If you were to put yourself in my shoes, I bet you would feel the same mangkuk!
Kalao semua orang dalam UIA macam ko, tak hingin aku pergi ke UIA. Kalao setakat clerk whatever it is, jangan lak ko pikir, oh yeahh.. i will make the decision. Tutup kes!.
Shit yawww.
Itu pon naseb baek bapak aku tak sebot pon pasal name ko tao tak?
Kalao tak, berdebat lah ko dengan bos ko.
I made a huge mistake dealing this kind of matter with you.
I have learned a lot. A lot about this life. A lot abaout humans yang pentingkan diri sendiri.
I pray.
Thank you lady gaga.
Penat denag segala bagai ragam manusia. Sometimes, I never understood humans walaopn aku sendri adalah seorang manusia. Sometimes, I never understood even with myself.
Yesterday was so dramatic. Emosial.
And yes, it was all about that damn uia. I sent my application according to what it was stated on their website. I sent on the very last day of the dateline. Alhamdulillah. But, again huh! Last minute.
So, woopedoo it went. However, I received a letter from the alty mighty uia, saying that
'oh well putri. I'm happily to inform you that your application is incomplte '. Oke. It wasnt phrased like that. Apekah ?
Highlight the word INCOMPLETE. Theres a huge difference between incomplete and disqualified.
Kalau incomplete, maknenyer my application has not been disqualified, belom lagi di- REJECTED.
As to clarify my theory, I sent an e-mail that lady gaga. And, she said ' YES'. Yes, in terms of, yes! Your theory was correct.
Thank God! One of her brain functions seemed to work well.
Not funny Putri.
So, I waited for my result to come out, which was on the 11th Aug. I asked for KTJ to scan a copy to me.
I know UIA was still waiting, so tak nak buang mase sangat. And, they did send me.
Again, I think it was ujian Allah. UIA did not accept the provisional one. What the fish man.
I wrote an appeal letter to UIA. Sent tru pos laju. Hahh. Ambek ko!. Nah. Just to show how keen I was.
Bullshit.
That lady gaga sent me an email :
Oh sure. We received your parcel and letter. However, we hope you understand that UIA does not accept provisional, bla, bla, bla.
Weh, UIA! Name je international. Habes tuh, kenape tak ikut kalendar international? Private U lain pon ikot kalendar international. Buat closing date sebelom result kuar.
Argh. Malas nak layan. Minus infinity marks. BOO!
So, I was like.. ktj! ktj! help me!
Thank God. CIE certs keluar cepat. I went and rushed ke kolej just to get that cert even though dieorg cakap akn post. Lambat! Lambat!
I scan and sent to lady gaga.
Korang tao tak ape die reply ?
MAAF. APPLICATION ANDA IS NOT APPLICABLE TO SEPTEMBER INTAKE. i PROCEED IT TO FEBRUARY INTAKE.
You know what lady gaga? Just resign.
Hari tuh cakap lain, hari nih cakap lain.
Malas aku nak appeal kat die. Sekejap2 cakap lain. Sekali, aku cop die tak waras baru tao.
Arghhh. Die langsung tak rujuk pade orang atasan. Die just buat keputusan based on the rules.
Bukan aku nak cakap, break the rules. Tapi, bagi kelonggaran la beb.
I know la you want to keep your job. Tapi, jangan la take it easy. Nak kerja siap, tak nak kusutkan kepala, you just ' NO. NO. NO. and NO. '
Sekali aku serbu UIA, terus jumpe director die, terus cerita sampai A ke Z, jangan lak ko salahkn aku beb kalao kene tendang keluar.
Bukan aku nak cakap bongkak, tapi dah terang2, ko hanya pentingkan diri sendiri.
If you were to put yourself in my shoes, I bet you would feel the same mangkuk!
Kalao semua orang dalam UIA macam ko, tak hingin aku pergi ke UIA. Kalao setakat clerk whatever it is, jangan lak ko pikir, oh yeahh.. i will make the decision. Tutup kes!.
Shit yawww.
Itu pon naseb baek bapak aku tak sebot pon pasal name ko tao tak?
Kalao tak, berdebat lah ko dengan bos ko.
I made a huge mistake dealing this kind of matter with you.
I have learned a lot. A lot about this life. A lot abaout humans yang pentingkan diri sendiri.
I pray.
Thank you lady gaga.
Monday 22 August 2011
Waiting.
OH MY GOD !
UIA! Kenape dan kenape dan mengape dan mengape belom reply my application ?
What took you so long ? Arg. Bukannye aku suruh korang bina kapal terbang ke hape ?
Dulu nak sangat actual result kan, tak nak provi konon
Demanding lebeh oi, tp langsung tak effective. Cis.
Reply laa..reply laaa. Please, please, please.
I suddenly recalled what my mother said.
Well, it was about tak boleh tidor lepas suboh dan lepas asar. Kalau lepas asar, nanti jadi gila. Memang pon. I went tru it. Tapi, nak cakap gila tak de lar but I think its just the way Islam has phrased it to discourage us not to sleep after Asar. Its just kalao korang tidor lepas Asar, lepas bangun, korang akan rase something wrong. Rase mcm nak marah2, ade je yg tak kene. Tak percaye, try la. Haha.
Ermm. about suboh pulak, nanti rezeki mahal. I didnt believe it on the first place. Tapi, i think I have started to believe. The major mojo problem is aku nih je nis liat nak bangun. Yealah. Almaklumlah cuti sekolah. Tidor lewat then bangun pon lewat. Its just a habit. So, I was wondering how to change this habit?. Habit is somthing that you do repetitively and sudah terbiase buat. In other words, sudah sebati dengan diri kita. Sigh .
I still need that freaking uia to reply my damn email.
Oke putri. Please be patient.
Fuh. Sabar. Sabar. Sabar.
UIA! Kenape dan kenape dan mengape dan mengape belom reply my application ?
What took you so long ? Arg. Bukannye aku suruh korang bina kapal terbang ke hape ?
Dulu nak sangat actual result kan, tak nak provi konon
Demanding lebeh oi, tp langsung tak effective. Cis.
Reply laa..reply laaa. Please, please, please.
I suddenly recalled what my mother said.
Well, it was about tak boleh tidor lepas suboh dan lepas asar. Kalau lepas asar, nanti jadi gila. Memang pon. I went tru it. Tapi, nak cakap gila tak de lar but I think its just the way Islam has phrased it to discourage us not to sleep after Asar. Its just kalao korang tidor lepas Asar, lepas bangun, korang akan rase something wrong. Rase mcm nak marah2, ade je yg tak kene. Tak percaye, try la. Haha.
Ermm. about suboh pulak, nanti rezeki mahal. I didnt believe it on the first place. Tapi, i think I have started to believe. The major mojo problem is aku nih je nis liat nak bangun. Yealah. Almaklumlah cuti sekolah. Tidor lewat then bangun pon lewat. Its just a habit. So, I was wondering how to change this habit?. Habit is somthing that you do repetitively and sudah terbiase buat. In other words, sudah sebati dengan diri kita. Sigh .
I still need that freaking uia to reply my damn email.
Oke putri. Please be patient.
Fuh. Sabar. Sabar. Sabar.
Manusia banyak ragam.
I always thought why people act like this, act like that .
Well, what happened was I saw one of my friends posted on her facebook ' penatlah hidup ni '
So, as a friend, I motivated her, I commented ' banyak bersabar '
Everybody knows life is tough, life is hard, life is not a fairytale, life bla bla bla and so on.
Semue org ade kisah hidup die tersendiri tp secare kebetulan some of you mungkin ade kisah lebeh kurang same.
Her post made me think tho .
So, I was thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking sampai nak pecah kepale hotak.
Akhirnye, I came out with a conclusion. Just live with the life as it is. Tak yah nak complain2. Klo nk complaim pon, get a diary and complainlah sebanyak mane pon .
If you decided to complain even to a closed friend, I bet die pon dh naek annoying dgn non-stop complaining korang .
If you asked me what would you say bout ur life, then gimme a pen and I bet you, I can write loads and loads of negative things.
Tapi, to muhasabah diri, to teach ourselves to bersyukur, kite spttnye fikir psl org yg lagi lagi lagi susah.
Thats the only way untok sedarkn diri ini. Dengan kate laen, express insaf .
Woohoo !
I was thinking to buy something special to my friend, actually friends. Something yg laen dr yg laen.
Bukan yg expensive ones tapi yg mmg laen. I'm still thinking tho.
Nak keluar, tapi I dont prefer to go out with my dad.
May be sudah suratan. Girls go shopping with girls. Kan ? Kan ?
Guys?..You go out playing with some other toys. - __ -'
I'd never been closed with guys. Even with my dad, even with my brothers. Never.
I dont know why. Mungkin I'm a girl. HAHA. Alasan tak munasabh langsung!
Dear girls and boys,
just shut up.
Well, what happened was I saw one of my friends posted on her facebook ' penatlah hidup ni '
So, as a friend, I motivated her, I commented ' banyak bersabar '
Everybody knows life is tough, life is hard, life is not a fairytale, life bla bla bla and so on.
Semue org ade kisah hidup die tersendiri tp secare kebetulan some of you mungkin ade kisah lebeh kurang same.
Her post made me think tho .
So, I was thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking sampai nak pecah kepale hotak.
Akhirnye, I came out with a conclusion. Just live with the life as it is. Tak yah nak complain2. Klo nk complaim pon, get a diary and complainlah sebanyak mane pon .
If you decided to complain even to a closed friend, I bet die pon dh naek annoying dgn non-stop complaining korang .
If you asked me what would you say bout ur life, then gimme a pen and I bet you, I can write loads and loads of negative things.
Tapi, to muhasabah diri, to teach ourselves to bersyukur, kite spttnye fikir psl org yg lagi lagi lagi susah.
Thats the only way untok sedarkn diri ini. Dengan kate laen, express insaf .
Woohoo !
I was thinking to buy something special to my friend, actually friends. Something yg laen dr yg laen.
Bukan yg expensive ones tapi yg mmg laen. I'm still thinking tho.
Nak keluar, tapi I dont prefer to go out with my dad.
May be sudah suratan. Girls go shopping with girls. Kan ? Kan ?
Guys?..You go out playing with some other toys. - __ -'
I'd never been closed with guys. Even with my dad, even with my brothers. Never.
I dont know why. Mungkin I'm a girl. HAHA. Alasan tak munasabh langsung!
Dear girls and boys,
just shut up.
Sunday 21 August 2011
Black and white
I was and still am hoping for a miracle to happen.
Well, I wouldn't call it a miracle , may be takdir .
As I'm writing this, I'm waiting for the super annot=ying uia to respond to my e-mail.
God! I don't know where to start. I was so complicated and not to forget, menguji keabaran dlm buln Ramadhan ini.
I hv been accepted to MU. I was happy but at the same time, I felt nothing when I went to check kat UCAS.
I know where I stand. Oversea means money and money means $$$. Kaching, kaching.
Dad,
Don't you remember sape yang beriya-iya suroh ti apply ?
Don't ke didn't hah? Argh. Lantaklah.
Spe yang beriya-iya ' eh kak teh. Apply Bsc. Jgn apply BMA. pak cik kamizan kate itu, kate ini '
And ape yg terjadik skrg nih ? You just stand aside and lemme , alone by myself, sort all this mess out ?
I have got accepted and skrg nih, I'm trying to find scholars. I have been tho. But, nasib tak menyebelahi. I failed !. I tried to find loans, and I failed.
YOU ? You just pekak kn telinga, butekan mate .
I feel shitty tao tak ?
' OH kak teh. Kak teh apply U mane ? Kenape kak teh xapply Bath or something else? Those are universrsities yg top ranking dlm accountancy '
Well, bullshit then. Cakap je tak gune. Cakap itu, ini.. tapi satu habuk pon tak blh pakai.
Busy with the house, I dont know why is this damn house is much more important then my study.
Oh, yeah. I'm old enough heh to solve that out?
Just stop it.
Everybody was asking ' oh putri. so, you re going to manchester heh ?'
'Well, no '
'Why ?'
'My dad has no money '
How embarassing was that !
What were you thinking why I applied for UK?. Tell me.
What the hell were you thinking that I stayed until 2 o'clock to get good result ?
OKEH FINE. MANCHESTER!..YOU JUST WASTED YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGY TO PROCESS MY APPLICATION.
YOU JUST WASTED YOUR MONEY TO POST ALL THOSE LETTERS.
I feel
frustrated.
Just shut up and don't talk to me.
Just shut up uia .
Just shut up.
Well, I wouldn't call it a miracle , may be takdir .
As I'm writing this, I'm waiting for the super annot=ying uia to respond to my e-mail.
God! I don't know where to start. I was so complicated and not to forget, menguji keabaran dlm buln Ramadhan ini.
I hv been accepted to MU. I was happy but at the same time, I felt nothing when I went to check kat UCAS.
I know where I stand. Oversea means money and money means $$$. Kaching, kaching.
Dad,
Don't you remember sape yang beriya-iya suroh ti apply ?
Don't ke didn't hah? Argh. Lantaklah.
Spe yang beriya-iya ' eh kak teh. Apply Bsc. Jgn apply BMA. pak cik kamizan kate itu, kate ini '
And ape yg terjadik skrg nih ? You just stand aside and lemme , alone by myself, sort all this mess out ?
I have got accepted and skrg nih, I'm trying to find scholars. I have been tho. But, nasib tak menyebelahi. I failed !. I tried to find loans, and I failed.
YOU ? You just pekak kn telinga, butekan mate .
I feel shitty tao tak ?
' OH kak teh. Kak teh apply U mane ? Kenape kak teh xapply Bath or something else? Those are universrsities yg top ranking dlm accountancy '
Well, bullshit then. Cakap je tak gune. Cakap itu, ini.. tapi satu habuk pon tak blh pakai.
Busy with the house, I dont know why is this damn house is much more important then my study.
Oh, yeah. I'm old enough heh to solve that out?
Just stop it.
Everybody was asking ' oh putri. so, you re going to manchester heh ?'
'Well, no '
'Why ?'
'My dad has no money '
How embarassing was that !
What were you thinking why I applied for UK?. Tell me.
What the hell were you thinking that I stayed until 2 o'clock to get good result ?
OKEH FINE. MANCHESTER!..YOU JUST WASTED YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGY TO PROCESS MY APPLICATION.
YOU JUST WASTED YOUR MONEY TO POST ALL THOSE LETTERS.
I feel
frustrated.
Just shut up and don't talk to me.
Just shut up uia .
Just shut up.
Monday 25 July 2011
Wednesday 13 July 2011
doom
i have told my concerns, my worries, my problems, my complicated life to ain
but, still, masih xdapat nk hilang segala bagai kepeningan, keresahan, kecuakan dan anak pinak die
aku rase down sangat, aku rase risao sgt. tapi, pepasal aku tak nanges? pelik. no. tak pelik pon
aku nih bukan ade perasaan sgt kat org lain ke kat diri sendiri
i'm just heartless. alaaa. org lain pon mcm tuh gak esp stupid boys kan ?
shit boys .
aku rase peluang aku semakin narrow dan narrow
aku nak cari jalan keluar, tapi smpai skrg aku tak jumpe
bnyk kah dose aku? terlalu banyakkah kebencian dlm diri ku?
ego kah aku ?
ade rezeki tuh, ade lar
tapi, korang kene tahu termasuk aku, REZEKI TAK DATANG BERGOLEK!
kene usaha.. aku dh usaha, tapi aku takot usaha aku tak cukop
mcm yg terjadik dlm exam..aku nak menanges setiap kali pikir pasal result exam aku yg bakal keluar tak lame lagi
aku tak sanggup weh dpt result terok..AKU TAK SANGGUP
TO BE CONTINUED
but, still, masih xdapat nk hilang segala bagai kepeningan, keresahan, kecuakan dan anak pinak die
aku rase down sangat, aku rase risao sgt. tapi, pepasal aku tak nanges? pelik. no. tak pelik pon
aku nih bukan ade perasaan sgt kat org lain ke kat diri sendiri
i'm just heartless. alaaa. org lain pon mcm tuh gak esp stupid boys kan ?
shit boys .
aku rase peluang aku semakin narrow dan narrow
aku nak cari jalan keluar, tapi smpai skrg aku tak jumpe
bnyk kah dose aku? terlalu banyakkah kebencian dlm diri ku?
ego kah aku ?
ade rezeki tuh, ade lar
tapi, korang kene tahu termasuk aku, REZEKI TAK DATANG BERGOLEK!
kene usaha.. aku dh usaha, tapi aku takot usaha aku tak cukop
mcm yg terjadik dlm exam..aku nak menanges setiap kali pikir pasal result exam aku yg bakal keluar tak lame lagi
aku tak sanggup weh dpt result terok..AKU TAK SANGGUP
TO BE CONTINUED
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